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Unanswered Prayers and the Dialectic of Disappointment with God

July 17, 2012
Benjamin Spalink

Everyone has experienced disappointment because of “unanswered” prayers.  Think of a loved one who has suffered, a family member who falls from the faith, a dream that has fallen by the wayside. Trust in God is shattered when God fails to deliver on important prayers.  So much hinges on whether or not God really does answer prayer that it's devastating when God doesn’t respond the way we want him to, especially when those prayers are for things we believe are good – things that God ought to want to do.

Does God really always answer our prayers?  That’s what is taught in Sunday school anyway, but it doesn’t always feel like it.  As we grow older, we realize that things don’t always work out the way we had hoped. This shouldn’t cause us to give up on prayer, or worse, give up on God. The truth is that God always answers prayer, but in order to see how, we must have an open mind and an open heart.

There are two ways “unanswered” prayers can turn out – one is coherently, and the other is mysteriously.  There are times when God doesn’t answer a prayer the way we want and we will never know why.  Something terrible is about to happen and we pray against it, but it happens anyway, and there is no possible human way to reconcile why God might have allowed it to happen.  This does happen.  But experience tells me that this is rare, and usually our disappointment or disillusionment is the beginning of something more.

What we must be willing to consider is that we have a tendency to miss out on the ways God is answering our prayers. If we allow disappointment with God to lead us to the conclusion that God doesn’t care, or that God doesn’t answer our prayers, we miss a tremendous growth opportunity as well as an opportunity to see God move in response to our prayers.  There are numerous ways this can work out, but consider just a couple possibilities.

First, God could be saying, “Yes, but wait.”   In many instances, God is answering our prayer, just not at the speed that we may want.  God has his reasons and his timing, and sometimes it is for our benefit that he makes us wait.  Imagine what our relationship with God would look like if prayer took no effort and God simply gave us whatever we asked for whenever we asked for it. God is no genie in a bottle. If he allowed us to treat him that way, we'd lose our respect for him. Only newborn babies can get whatever they want whenever they want it.

Think of a time God answered a prayer such that the timing worked towards your advantage?

Sometimes, God is saying, “Yes, but not like that.”  We can never be too careful about putting parameters on God for how God will work and answer our prayers. It's not up to us to determine how God will fulfill our prayers.  God has his way of doing things, and we hurt only ourselves if we insist upon God doing something a certain way.  When God does indeed answer our prayer, we continue in our disappointment because our eyes are not open to his way of doing things.  If we are open minded about how God answers our prayers, we will be delighted to see that God oftentimes does answer prayers we thought had been unanswered.

To be realistic, sometimes, God also says, “no.” But, God’s “no” is always, “I have something better in mind.”  It’s important to remember, that a “no” is not the same as an unanswered prayer. An unanswered prayer would be one in which you got no response.  Think of “no’s” as good.  Be thankful you got a response.  But also remember, part of the whole reason we pray is to discern God’s will.  A “no” shouldn’t be taken as God not caring, or God ignoring you.  A “no” means that God has something else in mind, and God is always going to do what’s in your best interest.  We must learn to trust that and use even the hard experiences of “no” to guide us more fully into the life that God has for us.

Think of a time God said “no.”  What larger greater purpose might God have had in mind when he answered your prayer in the negative?

Remember that God wants us to lift up prayers for all things.  It is inevitable that we will pray prayers that leave us feeling disappointed, but remembering that God is a loving Father who wants to give good things to his children, we must never allow disappointment with God to lead to unbelief or giving up on prayer, but must allow this suffering to make us stronger and ever more reliant on his grace and love.  The ultimate goal of prayer is not that we get everything we want, but that we grow to realize more and more that our life, our joy, our satisfaction, our essence, is found in our relationship with God.  Even in disappointment, God is teaching us how to pray and what to become.

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May 27, 2018 11:49 PM

I prayed to God, did my devotional, worship, etc everyday for a year. I got dream revelations that I thought it was God telling me his will. Well it didn't, now I cant help to think that if there is a God that gave those dreams was mocking me. I am pastor's daughter, ive been going to church forever. I feel bad I'm questioning everything. Why can I see a miracle? How long should one wait?  Why if I really tried finding God, I found nothing, I have not even changed as a person. Its very depressing Bécquer I really want to believe.


May 21, 2018 5:26 PM

I have prayed every day for two years, begged and pleaded with God for a good job so I don't lose my home and what little I have.  My house is now in foreclosure and the only jobs I've been offered are part-time that pay crap.  I'm 58 years old and feel like my life is not worth living anymore.  If that's an example of God's "love" and "meeting our needs", then no thanks.  Like many others here, I feel that I've been lied to all my life about how God is there for all of us.


May 13, 2018 11:19 AM

I am so saddened and disappointed to find that the man that has written this article has had so few comments to give in response to so many hurting and dissallusioned people who need real answers, since he bothered to write the article. I came here also looking for answers and encouragement, but found nothing. I know of a dear sister in Christ who is hurting deeply because her grandchild is going through a horrible abusive situation, and she is unable to interevene and save him, and has prayed to God for 8 years to deliver him out of it, but has not seen a change. I know that God is faitful, loving, and just, and so does she, but she is left wondering why would God allow this boy, who is a sweet loving Christian boy, go throught this pain, and not intervene to help him despite her many prayers. I want to be able to help her, and I want those who come here apparently also looking for answers to recieve the hope and satisfaction of understanding our Heavenly Father's ways better, so that our faith is not shattered. I can only pray that each and every person who comes to this site will be able to go elsewhere and recieve the answers they are looking for. I will say this, God is NOT dead. He is very much alive and cares for His creation. He gave His only begotten Son to give eternal life to all, and it is very important that we seek hard to understand and know Him through His Son and His word. He is the only hope for a hurting world.

Ben Spalink

January 09, 2018 8:41 AM

I appreciate all the incredible pain and struggling that has been reflected in these comments over the years.  Pray is terribly hard and sometimes we encounter more darkness and silence than dramatic answers.  

@Albert I wonder if your misery over the past 20 years was really caused by your obedience and avoidance of sin, or if it was something else.  God doesn't tell you not to sin so as prevent you from having a fun time. Sin, which seems fun and attractive from the outside, actually diminishes your life significantly.  Lying, cheating, committing adultery, etc... are things which will destroy your life.  But sometimes, doing the right things is fruitless if you're doing them for the wrong reasons.  We don't obey God because we "have to," but rather, because we trust God and know that he loves us. We obey God because we want to, because he has shown himself to care for us ina  profound way. We know he loves us because he came into the world and died on a cross for us.  I hope that your regreat can turn into joy, and that you'll be able to look over the last 20 years and say, "It hasn't been easy, but ultimately, I think God was using this time to sharpen and mold me." Then some good may come of it.  


January 09, 2018 12:10 AM

sadly I have given up on God because grew tired of waiting, been waiting for 20 years, and although my life has not improved much at least I don't feel guilty of doing things that used to bother me before. I waited for a damascus moment because everyone who professes their love and faith has had at least one. Also, listening to preachers like charles stanley, he said those who are truly saved bear fruit, maybe not right away but eventually. Well, after 20 years I can safely say I am not one of the chosen ones. I really hate having wasted so much time reading the bible, attenidng church, abstaining from sinful things all for nothing. I have been miserable most of my life because of it and now I will die in sin but it will be my choosing, after all, all the people who lead a great life are sinners and don't chide away from hiding it. I figured if Trump is saved by Jesus after all he has done then why the heck shouldn't I have fun as well, maybe when I'm old things will change.


November 29, 2017 9:48 PM
i cant express my joy and gratitude for what almighty lord had done for me through His servant Pastor Audric did for me, i had been married for 2 years now and been having marriage crisis as a result of not been able to give birth , there came a time when i badly needed a baby to save my marriage, i went to all the medical doctors here, they all said nothing is wrong with me and my husband,  i used to cry for my marriage was breaking apart. so my friend invited me to their church program and about her pastor, Pastor Audric, about stories how the lord had been using His servant to bless families and help people who seek miracle in their lives. which i could not attend due the program fell on my work hours.  so she gave me his contact and i explained my situation to him, he prayed with me and send me a spiritual content which i use with prayers. three weeks later after the prayer session was held, i got what was impossible by men, the lord bless me with a baby boy, pastor Audric you are a life saver. my lovely baby picture
i have a settled family. this he his email contact.

Russell Duby

November 13, 2017 1:31 AM

I have been a Christian since I was 6 yrs old and asked Jesus to live in my heart. At that time I asked god to stop my father from molesting me. God answered no. I prayed for protection, but a drunk driver lost control and hit me in my front yard. My leg was broken, my arm was broken, my scull was fractured and my spine was twisted. So that prayer was also answered with no. At 18 I escaped my demented father, because God who supposedly protects children thought I wasn't worth his time. I lived on the streets for awhile until I was 26, always keeping my Bible close to me. I read it cover to cover and prayed every day. I migrated to Georgia where I found a job driving Taxi's. This put a roof over my head and food on the table. But those injuries from my childhood being hit by that drunk driver, got steadily worse, culminating in Kyphosis Scholiosis. This forced me out of a job and onto SSI disability. I've prayed for healing, I've prayed for another job to work, I've prayed for an even brake in my life. But Jesus and his father God continually answer no. I have never gotten a yes to a single prayer.

  Yesterday at church a young paster came to give the message and brought with him several ex-addicts from his pilgrim ministry. They stood in front of the congrigation telling us what they've been through.

  One of them stated that he had lost his house, job, and family to his addiction. But after going through the program at Pilgim Ministries, he got it all back. I had to get up and leave, all they were telling me was God hated me. I guess you have to be passed out in the gutter before God will take any notice and answer your prayer. I am at the point of giving up onbeing a Christian. What other choice do I have, when God has shown me that I'm not worthy of his acnoligement.

Russell Duby


September 10, 2017 12:58 PM
I have seen a lot of comment that makes me so sad (God is a deity not man a deity does what he think is right many wakes up and others die will we say he is unjust God I have lost my job for the past 2 years but God always takes care of me I lost all my money that I use to take care of my family still he takes care of me the fact that he has kept quite doesn't mean he doesn't care all that you need is take him as God and he will take you as man as child of God your mission is not to fight your mission is to stand a lot of as are taken God as magician which is bad take him as God and the most powerful part is mastered seed grows so keep on growing your faith David said I was once young and I have grown to be come an old man I have never seen a righteous man and it decedent going begging for food, for you to please God for him to answer your prayer is believe more than you think and pray fervently be crazy for God and he will answer if God doesn't answer your prayers and things happen so bad just cry to him he will understand stop blaming God he knows what is best

debra morgan

August 19, 2017 6:51 PM

the best part of this article are the comments.


August 09, 2017 7:42 PM

It was about 5 or so years ago when our (then) 15 year old son said to me, "Dad, I don't know WHY we pray, because God never seems to answer.."

I was 'theologically' crushed, but from a standpoint of reality and results, he (like the rest of our family of 7) had seen first hand what it was like to loose a home, and then go on to spend 5 years sleeping on floors and couches, and being the target of inexcusable verbal and emotional abuse from 'Good Christian People'.  To this day he loathes the people who abused him and whom he saw abuse his other siblings and likewise his Mom and Dad (myself).

At 64 years of age (and having 'Given my Life to Christ' at 18) the GREATEST piece of advise and admonition I have for my 5 children is, "DON'T be the FOOL that your dad has been, by 'Going Gung-Ho for Jesus'!"

My life (and the life my wife and kids have had to endure) has been HORRID and not something I would wish on my worst enemy.  God's 'promises' to 'provide' have been comical at best and cruel to the point of seriously considering suicide if it wasnt' for the mess that would be left behind for the remaining family members.

My wife and I are both incredibly responsible, hard-working individuals, and our kids couldn't have asked for a better Mom.  But it does take MONEY to live, and we have been so paralyzed by financial poverty (we alreadly lived very frugually both before and after marriage) that we've done without the most basic of essentials. And PLEASE don't give me the standard Christian Cliche line of, "God will meet you needs, but not necessarily your greeds..."  GARBAGE!  In our household electricity is a NEED!  In our household food is a NEED.  In our household shoes are a NEED! 

We were told before marriage (with supporting Scriptures) how 'honored' God was when his 'Believeing and Trusting Children' took 'Steps of Faith', and having a 'quiver full' of children was 'Smiled upon by God'.. So we did.  One of those has gone on to marry and informed us (quite understandably) that they was "NO WAY!" they were having any more than 2, because of the POVERTY they had to grow up in.  And no, I couldn't argue with them, anymore than I could argue with my teenage son who (being undaunted by all of the 'promises of God') cut right to the crux of the matter when he expressed his skepticism regarding 'answered prayer' (Better for him to realize it now, than 40+ years down the road when its too late to look to yourself as the 'answer' for your prayers!)

And, sadly as noted by others here, I have NEVER seen a relationship restored no matter how many prayers I've poured into it, NOR have I (in my 45+ years as a Believer) EVER seen a loved one come to Christ as a result of my praying and pleading before God.  (I've heard COUNTLESS sermons re how much God 'cares' for his creation, but have seen little-to-nothing to validate that)

Do I believe that God answers prayer?  ABSOLOUTELY!  I've seen it, and there was no explaination BUT God!  However, I also believe that people win the lottery. And it both cases if you're COUNTING on answered prayer and if you're COUNTING on winning the lottery, you will be sorely disappointed and left an emotional (and possibly in both cases) and FINANCIAL WRECK!  (Yes, we've 'Put God to the Test' being told that, "You'll be amazed what will happen if you put God first in your finances!"  -  Well, were definately 'surprised' as neither the utility companies nor our mortgage holder was impressed enough not to cut off vital services, nor decide not to forclose on our home.

Yes, my wife and I have seen God richly bless others (for which we are happy for them), whilst it seems as if he totally ignores others that sincerely and sacrifically want to serve him.  Sadly, after 45+ years as a Christian (and running out of time..) its too late for me to 'turn back the clock' so that I could make different decisions that were NOT based upon 'Put God FIRST in all that you do and watch what he does!"  

I WANT to believe God; I WANT to fully, completely and unreservedly TRUST God.  But unfortunately, his 'Track Record' STINKS!  As such, the most cruel thing I could do to my children is to perpetrate this notion that 'God has a plan for your life for good'..  They've had to live under the consequences of that 'marvelous plan' and (surprise, surprise) want NOTHING to do with it!

My overriding motto for my kids has been POVERTY SUCKS, (as if they needed to be reminded of that!) but above all remember that we are to LOVE PEOPLE and USE MONEY, and not the other way around!  As they launch their lives the LAST thing I want them to do is follow in the footsteps of their dad (me), who at the young and highly-impressional age of 18, made a commitment to 'Change the world for Christ', and then realize all too late that one has to eat, have a roof over their heads, and be able to put gas in the car and turn the lights on in your house, provided that you even have a place of your own.

'Trusting God'... a COLOSSAL FAILURE !!


July 31, 2017 7:42 PM
Thank for for giving some insights to prayer. Frankly, I do not know who you are what your theological position is. I am responding because for the last few years I have prayed for the salvation of family and before my prayers,my saintly father prayed for their salvation. . . And I thought there might be some insights here. Regarding the unanswered prayer for my relatives, I find it without reason. Had they followed the Lord and his guidance in their lives,it would simply be amazing. God gave them unbelieveable talents and abilities. But, the enemy has totally disabled any chance for the type of future they could have had. Why would God not intervene in the life of a person and help them to see that without God, they will have a difficult life. Why can't God bring a miracle when we patiently and pray? I just don't get it. The scriptures say that God is all powerful, yet when we answer for the salvation of answer. Aren't we taught that it is God's desire that all should be saved? When I keep on praying for a divine intervention or a miracle. . .nothing! I ask for nothing for myself, just for the salvation for my relatives and for them to see that God could bless them unmeasurablely. But nothing. This doesn't make any sense and frankly causes me to think why even try to pray. I stay awake at night to pray, I wake up during the night and pray all day during the day when I think about my relatives, but nothing. If anyone has any suggestions,I would be most grateful.


June 23, 2017 3:15 AM
There's so much pain in these comments. I came to this post looking for a little guidance and possibly to re strengthen my waining faith. The words of this post kinda ring hollow in the face of all these real stories of unanswered prayers and hurt. So I don't know anymore. If a mustard seed of faith is all it takes because that's about all I have now, I pray everyone's needs are met by God and that we all come to realize that God's promises do hold true..cuz yeah while my problems are small compared to many of the people in the commment section I think sometimes the silence and feeling ignored has definitely done a number in my belief..


June 21, 2017 11:40 PM

Two years ago I found out that my husband of 15 years had been molesting our children. I immediately took the children and left the house and notified authorities. He was arrested and eventually got 20 years for one count. The state came in and without any proof took my children from me because they said after all those years they couldn't understand how I didn't know. My children and I both told them that I never knew but still nothing. I prayed and pleaded and prayed some more but no answer came and eventually lost my parental rights to all of my children. Why did my prayers go unanswered. I trust the Lord but my heart is broken and my life will never be whole again.


June 07, 2017 2:53 AM

Rachel, why would he go to Hell? Please check out this:1 Corinthians 7:16

I understand the rest of what you are saying, though...


Ben Spalink

January 03, 2017 4:39 PM

@ Eric, I'm so sorry to hear about your horrible experiences with God.  I commend your willingness to love him even though you feel like God is completely untrustworthy.  My only encouragement is that you look to Jesus and look to the cross. On the cross we see God puting himself on the hook for sin and evil.  God loves us so passionately that Jesus was willing to endure the pain and suffering that we deserved so that we could know God and be reconciled to him.  Jesus' resurrection is the greatest miracle ever, and our new status in Christ is a close second.  God does in fact have a plan for our ultimate good and he made good on that commitment by dying on a cross.  It is Jesus' willingness to go to the cross on our behalf that convinces us of his love for us. I hope you can find some comfort in this despite the pain you are experiencing. 


December 30, 2016 12:28 PM

I've never once in my life ever seen God restore a broken relationship between married people. The more I pray, the more God ignored me. I'm tired of false hope. Of being tested. Being refined. Being taught lessons. Misery is not mercy. Believe in God? Yes. Love God? Yes. Trust that his plan is for my ultimate good? Don't think so.  


November 14, 2016 12:54 PM

What if God has never, not even once, answered yes to a request you have made?

As a child, I prayed for my grandmother to be healed from cancer. She died in agony at just 63. I prayed for over two decades for my parents' relationship to heal. A few years ago my dad had an affair with another woman and my parents finally divorced after a painful marriage of over 30 years. I've prayed for nearly two decades for my depression to be healed. I still struggle with it. I've prayed for years that God would introduce me to a godly man to marry. I'm 33 and have still never had any serious relationships at all with a Christian man. I have a friend who is not a Christian but thinks he is (he is in a cult). I have explained the Gospel to him and prayed (and wept) over and over for his salvation. I truly believed that God would say yes to that prayer, but to my great surprise,it was again "no."

Even worse, I fell in love with this man that is in a cult, and he with me. Is this some kind of cruel joke from God? "Ha ha ha, Rachel. I won't let you meet the Christian man you've been praying for for years, but I'll introduce you to a man who has all the qualities you're looking for. You'll think he's a Christian for a while, then you'll realize he isn't, but it'll be too late by then because you'll already have fallen in love with him. Now you're in love with someone you can't be with. Oh, and he'll be going to hell, too, because I see no reason to draw him to me." Love, God.

Finally, I'm coming to the painful realization that God either literally does not hear me or truly does not care about my life or the lives of the people around me. I'm really beginning to believe this. How can I pray for something like the salvation of another person, and God still says no? I have even told God that I don't care if this man never speaks to me again, I just desire his salvation because I love him. But apparently God's will is not for people to be saved.

How can people say God always listens, and always answers, it's just not always how we want? I feel like that's a copout. For example, if a child asked his parent for something, and the parent didn't say anything at all back, would we say the parent answered the child? That the answer just wasn't yes, but no or wait? No, that's ridiculous. The parent didn't answer because he either didn't listen or he didn't see the reason to give any answer at all. Why is God held to a different, easier standard than a human parent? If I hear nothing from God and see no evidence of any change in my life or others', ever, in response to prayer, then God is either listening and not answering at all, or He is not listening in the first place.

I've been trying to figure out if I've been doing it all wrong all of my life. I'm realizing everything I keep reading online puts a bunch of conditions on prayer. You need to have enough faith, you need to have thankfulness, you need to repent from all your sins, you need to have no problems in any or your human relationships, you need to ask for the right things, and on and on and on. So many conditions are put on our prayers for them to be answered that it makes the statement "God answers prayers" almost laughable. No one can 100% meet every condition I've seen spelled out. I feel like if I'm not thanking God for absolutely everything in every prayer, living in spasms of joy, not sinning ever, having perfect relationships with everyone around me, or believing 100% in God with not even the slightest doubt, then He will look at my prayer as insufficient and won't answer. It degenerates into magical thinking. Like, the problem isn't that God doesn't answer prayer, it's that me and my prayers are always wrong.

I've prayed when I've been joyful and when I've been depressed. I've prayed with huge doubts and with 100% faith. I've prayed when I've been in sin and known it, and I've prayed when I've confessed and repented of sin. It never makes one iota of difference in the answer (or non-answer) that comes from God.

Basically, I no longer believe He loves me, cares about me, or any of that apparent nonsense I've believed all my life. If I use evidence, not just some wishful thinking, I just can't come to any other conclusion except that God does not answer prayer.

I dare not turn away from believing that Jesus died for the sins of the world, and that includes mine. But I believe I'm just included in that because I'm part of the world, not because I'm someone special to God. And I now believe this out of fear, not love anymore. I'm too afraid of what would happen to me after death if I stopped believing.

God is supposed to be my Father. How could I ever trust, believe, or love a father who would never listen to me, someone who powerful and perfect and is there keeping the business of the world going, but who never responds to me?

I'm despairing because knowing that God doesn't really love me, notice me, or care about me as an individual makes my life completely meaningless.


August 27, 2016 8:05 AM


You asked every questiom that I have been asking. My husband also abandoned and divorced me. I live in a no-fault state so he divorced me without my consent, left all belongings in our home, amd from the day he left I never heard from him again. It's been just over three years.

If our spouses were repentant, then yes, they would leave their sinful lives and return to us amd God. They would become faithful leaders in our homes. If they continue on with this life it will lead them right to hell.

I believed in God for restoration and even believed He would in fact restore this marriage.I thought God told me He would. But of course, we have to learn many hard lessons. Sure, God might still do it but realistically, I havent seen or heard from my spouse in over three years. He created a new life and has been blessed abundantly. The likelyhood of him giving him up everything to return to a wife with little to offer and whom he clearly has never missed? I doubt that happens. 

I have seen marriages restored but not with abandonment. Ive never seen or heard about a restoration where the spouse has never to do with the other. I thought this would be a time for God to shine but I have to be realistic too. I cannot tell you the disapointment I feel in God and my spouse. I have learned that you can spend a lifetime being unsure if God has said "no" or "wait." There arent always answers from God and sometimes it hurts us more than it benefits us when we go through trials. Its not fair, its not comforting, and it doesnt fit all the typical Christian cliches like "Hell never give you more than you can handle. God just wants you to be happy, Youll come out of this stronger, God did this so you can find someone better...." I wish the Church would be more truthful so were not terribly let down.

Helen schirmer

July 08, 2016 11:30 AM
After my husband of nearly 35 years abandoned and divorced me almost 3 years ago, I have prayed for a new relationship. i wanted human love again as well as affectation, attention, and intimacy. I desire the verysame things that married women want. But, instead I continue to feel like the wives "put away" in the OT to make way for a new women. I do not understand while God started allowing divorce in the OT for husbands benefit. All women were considered property to be disposed of at their sexual whims, This allowed men to do it without hesitation or guilt. It still continues more and more. We are told that allowing or letting this happen is from God. That his control being displayed. Well, we certainly cannot work against God or men and hope for any triumph. Is God directly involved in couples coming together? Is so, how would we become aware of it or are we unable to be aware? Does man's free will choices become God's sovereign will? We are taught God does not override free will. Also, does God give p blessings to marriages that resulted from adulterous affairs? How could a person be repentent and demonstrate repentance if they were staying in the marriage? I thought this required agreeing with God and going away from the sin? What would meaningful repentance look like in an ex husband and father?


March 20, 2016 4:58 AM
I found this website moments ago, I'm hurting too, my many years of disappointment with God are starting to show up once again. I cannot explain, nor do I wish to, but I'm tired of the false hope. Listening to people who are ill-equipped and talk off the top of their heads or who just outright blame the person for the bad things that happen. When it comes to matters of your heart, your children etc, don't talk to the person about foolishness. Ignorance and compassionless garbage, you add to the pain and the confusion, you further exacerbate a place of frustration into a place of anger with God and perhaps a person falling away completely. Belinda and Lyn, I read your post and my heart is broken for you, I lost my brother whom I miss so very much and I've been fighting for years to get my son to this country. There are no words my dear sisters in Christ, your pain and your suffering I have no words but I from my heart feel your pain. I say to people consider my shoes, how far in that mile have you walked? And many will tell you they have not, but they are quick to spout scripture and talk nonsense. I know your hearts have been broken, I know that the depth of your disappointment with God is at times immeasurable. I can only stand with you in Love and say I've walked some of the mile in your shoes and I know from my heart to yours it hurts like hell and you are confused and you too are demanding answers. All I can honestly say dear hearts, is go and yell and cry and do whatever you have to with God, don't be afraid of him and tell him your true heart. I'm going to again today. And you let him exactly how you feel. He'll come had this time he will resolve it. Much Love, Many roads of peace and blessing.

Allen B

December 21, 2015 1:06 AM

I am 70 yrs old and I too have known suffering. Paul said to live is Christ and to die is gain. What do we learn while walking in this life? Suffering, joy, love, hate etc. Jesus saw/experienced it all and suffered greatly. He was tested and not found wanting. Has all this been a test to prepare us for a greater life? Have I lived life to its fullest? Have I achieved conformity to Christ? I don't know! I do know I want to know God and I find that all I have ever done or experienced in the flesh is worth nothing. The short time on this earth cannot be compared to life with Christ for all eternity! I agree, suffering I do not want or ask for, but I know it will end someday thanks to my saviour who will come again for me and you! 

L Bryant

April 20, 2015 10:43 PM

@Belinda and lyn

First off, I am truly sorry for what both of you are going through and I can't imagine the pain that you must feel and the struggle that you have been through! But I urge you to not give up on God! His thoughts are higher than our thoughts and His ways are higher than our ways. He has a reason for everything whether we understand it or not. I would encourage you to read the book of Job if you haven't already. Also, Paul encourages us in Phillipians 2:5-11 to have the same attitude as Christ. He was God, but humbled Himself into the form of a man and came to serve. Imagine that! The God that created everything became a human being just like you and me! He experienced birth as a baby (Matt 1-2, Luke 1) , life as a man, hunger (Matt 4), temptation (Matt 4), grief (John 11:35 "Jesus wept."), suffering (Isaiah 53:5) , and ultimately an extremely brutal death in addition to God totally abandoning Him for 3 days! He understands what you have been through because He's been through something just like it! And the best part is that He did it because He loved you so much that He wants you to live in Heaven with Him forever! Matthew 11:28 says, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." He cares for you more than you may think.


December 10, 2014 8:27 AM

How did God use my miscarriage for "my good"? How could allowing my baby to die and letting me pray for a healthy pregnancy when the baby in my womb was already dead be "in my best interest"?

I'm not trying to be facetious here ... I'm really struggling to process this. If Jesus came to 

give us life, and life in abundance, why did He allow me to even fall pregnant, after 6 years of infertility, if this was His plan?


April 05, 2014 8:20 PM

@lyn if i were you, I'll cried out to God day and night! Until He answers my call!


I had gone through some terrible things in life. Betrayal, affairs, my dad had had cancer for three times and the death of my sister's son.


You may not understand now but I pray that God will give you strength and grace to endure.


Taking care of six kids is tough and even tougher now that you had cancer. Do you have anyone helping you?


Is your church helping you? If they don't help you with anything you may want to look for a new one who us truly caring and God fearing.


August 20, 2013 10:42 AM

I hate hearing "God has someting else in mind, and God is always going to do what's in your best interest" or anything like that.

I asked God to heal my brother, and now he is dead.  Tell me how that works out for anyone's betterment.  I asked not for myself, but for him, having had a very aloof relationship with him.  After our mother died, I had hoped that my brother would learn to find his way in life.  Instead he's dead.

I've asked God for family - a heartfelt desire he created me with, and the answer was "no" - God put us 2,500 miles away from family nearly 40 years ago.  My kids have all moved away.

My husband's dad died of cancer 40 years ago - leaving his widow in poverty with six kids to raise.  And still she was faithful.

I continue to try to be faithful, but I'm tired and in despair.  I'm nearing the end of my life, when it will be too late to have those prayers answered.

So my point is, sometimes God just doesn't answer prayer.  And He does not treat His children fairly - blessing some and cursing others.  And to teach otherwise defies reality.

James Kim

July 18, 2012 5:41 PM

Yes, that's why we should keepy praying!


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